


Cas, come back

by malecplusotherthings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecplusotherthings/pseuds/malecplusotherthings
Summary: This is what I think Dean was going through when Cas told him he loved him and then died. This is also for all those people who said Dean/Jensen are homobhobic in that scene. I hope this helps you understand things a little better. Let me know what you think of this.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Cas, come back

Dean knew their decisions would have consequences. He just never thought they would lead him here. Ten years ago, had somebody told him that he would meet his end at the hands of Death, he would not have believed them. Ten years ago, he would not have believed a lot of things. However, Cas was the only one giving him any hope. Cas - his best friend, his angel, the love of his life. Not that Dean could ever admit that out loud.

“There is one thing she is afraid of.” Cas said, snapping Dean out of his daze. “ I made a deal with the Empty to save Jack - the price was my life. If I ever felt true happiness, the Empty would take me forever.”

“Why tell me this now?”

“I wondered what it would be, my true happiness.” Cas went on, as though he hadn’t even heard Dean. “The one thing I want is something I know I can’t have. I think I know now: happiness isn't in the having, just being, just saying it.”

_ Saying what? _ Cas’ blue eyes were filled with tears, his voice wavering. Dean didn’t dare to say anything. He knew his voice would betray his true feelings if he opened his mouth. And he knew he couldn’t afford to do that, not now.

“I know how you see yourself. Destructive, angry, broken, daddy's blunt instrument, hate and anger - but it's NOT who you are. Everyone sees it. Everyone who knows you knows that what you've done, you've done for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on earth, the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. Knowing you has changed me. You cared - so I cared, about you, about Sam, about Jack. I cared about the world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” Dean asked, gulping down his tears. Cas flashes him a sad smile.

“I love you.”

“Don’t do this, Cas!”  _ Don’t say that. _ Everyone who had ever loved him, had left. Lisa, Mary, Ben. Dean could not afford to go through that one more time. Especially not with Cas. It’s why Dean could never tell the blue-eyed angel how much he loved him. Before Dean even had a chance to say anything, Cas swiftly pushed Dean out of the way.

“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas said, as the Empty swallowed him.  _ Cas, come back. _ There was a reason Dean had stayed away from love, and this was it. The pain of losing somebody he loved hurt so deep, it was better not to love at all. Or at least not act on that love. Dean stared blankly at the spot where the Empty had taken Castiel, tears rolling down his face.  _ I-I love you, too, Cas. _


End file.
